By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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