We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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