Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
