the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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