What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
