I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
