hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
