he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
