I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
