I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
