I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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