I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You can't motorboat a personality
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
vagina is talking i cant
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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