We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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