Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
