Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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