So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
