There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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