Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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