as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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