i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
