My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize