In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
