two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
