So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
