bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You pole danced in your parka.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
