Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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