There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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