Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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