Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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