Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
