worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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