What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
