I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
