You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
