I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If I die, sorry about rent.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
