So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
