..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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