I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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