Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
