She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
