The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
