I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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