Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
