i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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