:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
