Are we in a gay sports bar?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
