who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
