Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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