Your face is a jimmy john
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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