We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
