dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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