so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
