So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
