Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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