New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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