I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
