dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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