if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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