i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
