nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
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